caribbeanchicken is flying the coup.
in other words- she is taking sime time off-island. she'll be back in the near future. until then, keep those tail feathers flying high!
cc.
Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Thursday, 11 January 2007
the canadian curse
I am surrounded by Red and White.
Some days I feel like the Maple Leaf. No hang on, I feel like an ant on the Maple Leaf.
My new office happens to be situated on an idyllic island, which also happens to be inhabited by Canadians. In fact Canadians far out-populate any other ex-pat community on the island. Not that strange when you think where they're coming from. Poor buggers are desperate to thaw out after generations of living on the edge of a freezing ice cap.
Now, I don't necessarily have anything against the Canadians, but when you are boxed in by 5 of them in a small confined space, with no windows, I have started to view them as the 'others'. It is not one particular thing that makes my skin crawl with irritation, it's more the ever-present sweetness that starts to really...really get on my nerves.
I mean, come on now, we can't all be that nice ALL of the time. Well, clearly, I can't.
Our desks are divided into cubicles, tiny bits of space where you're expected to flourish for 8 hours of your day, for 5 (and sometimes 6) days of the week. All that good sunshine just going to waste :-( makes me sick man.
Sooooo, at the desk opposite me live Curls and Fast Food. You have never heard such enormous amounts of oozing sweetness as they discuss wedding plans with their bridal clients... but then, when the telephones have been put away and before our manager has managed to close the office door - its bam!- and the bitchiness begins. I reckon there's a place for them in the next X-Men, I have never seen so much maple syrup go sour so quickly- these byatches are talented.
In the 3 cubicles behind me, live Frenchie (French-Cabadian) , SOWM (stressed-out-working-mother, also Canadian) and Gaylord(trendy, gay, canadian wedding planner- no cliche there ofcourse).
And, finally, on my left, and the only other remaining exit out the office, sits the Administrator. We're all shit-scared of our office administrator and try and give her the least amount of administration work as possible. Oddly enough, she is the only person in my corner of the office who does not originate from the land of snow and ... and... bears... and I dunno.. park rangers??
Sticks and stones originates from Jamaica. She is quite possibly the skinniest Jamaican (see upcoming post on jamaicans), that I have ever met. Not from lack of trying though. I have never seen a chick devour so much fried chicken in my life.
Sticks and Stones and Bosslady (the departmental manager) are both from the same hometown in jamaica and therefore speak a completely different language than anyone else on the island and quite often discurse through means of telepathy. This means that anything and everything we do, say or think is beamed straight back to management. Quite disconcerting.
But, its ok, Sticks and Stones and I have an understanding.
You see, I am the only non-Canadian in our office, and for this reason and this reason alone, I pass inspection.
Some days I feel like the Maple Leaf. No hang on, I feel like an ant on the Maple Leaf.
My new office happens to be situated on an idyllic island, which also happens to be inhabited by Canadians. In fact Canadians far out-populate any other ex-pat community on the island. Not that strange when you think where they're coming from. Poor buggers are desperate to thaw out after generations of living on the edge of a freezing ice cap.
Now, I don't necessarily have anything against the Canadians, but when you are boxed in by 5 of them in a small confined space, with no windows, I have started to view them as the 'others'. It is not one particular thing that makes my skin crawl with irritation, it's more the ever-present sweetness that starts to really...really get on my nerves.
I mean, come on now, we can't all be that nice ALL of the time. Well, clearly, I can't.
Our desks are divided into cubicles, tiny bits of space where you're expected to flourish for 8 hours of your day, for 5 (and sometimes 6) days of the week. All that good sunshine just going to waste :-( makes me sick man.
Sooooo, at the desk opposite me live Curls and Fast Food. You have never heard such enormous amounts of oozing sweetness as they discuss wedding plans with their bridal clients... but then, when the telephones have been put away and before our manager has managed to close the office door - its bam!- and the bitchiness begins. I reckon there's a place for them in the next X-Men, I have never seen so much maple syrup go sour so quickly- these byatches are talented.
In the 3 cubicles behind me, live Frenchie (French-Cabadian) , SOWM (stressed-out-working-mother, also Canadian) and Gaylord(trendy, gay, canadian wedding planner- no cliche there ofcourse).
And, finally, on my left, and the only other remaining exit out the office, sits the Administrator. We're all shit-scared of our office administrator and try and give her the least amount of administration work as possible. Oddly enough, she is the only person in my corner of the office who does not originate from the land of snow and ... and... bears... and I dunno.. park rangers??
Sticks and stones originates from Jamaica. She is quite possibly the skinniest Jamaican (see upcoming post on jamaicans), that I have ever met. Not from lack of trying though. I have never seen a chick devour so much fried chicken in my life.
Sticks and Stones and Bosslady (the departmental manager) are both from the same hometown in jamaica and therefore speak a completely different language than anyone else on the island and quite often discurse through means of telepathy. This means that anything and everything we do, say or think is beamed straight back to management. Quite disconcerting.
But, its ok, Sticks and Stones and I have an understanding.
You see, I am the only non-Canadian in our office, and for this reason and this reason alone, I pass inspection.
Wednesday, 3 January 2007
adventures of a caribbean chicken
10 days of playa part-ay in paradise...
Yes, I was super excited!
10 days, in the brilliant caribbean sunshine, on white sands, swimming in turquiose seas with stingrays, drinking rum-cokes at every sunset... what could go wrong?? Idyllic, no??
Ideal, my ass.
Here's the low-down...
Day One;
car keys- check
house keys- check
wallet- check
dollars- check
credit cards- check
camera- check
clothing (on and off body)- check
liver still intact- check
Wow, i was off to a good start!
The first coupla days were spent gearing up for xmas- shop shop shop, decorate tree, wrap presents, make food (attempt to create salad extrodinaire) for 10 poeple, and then we cracked open the first bottle of champers and I truly feel things went downhill from this point on!!
But first, I received my FIRST xmas present!! I had bought myself a baby RAV which got delivered the first day of my hols! It's a gorgeous (beat up), blue (rusty) 2-door Rav (definitely an Island car) which i LOVE!! No more scooter incidents!!!!!!!!!
And, yes, i do see the irony in buying a Toyota as my first car (sorry DAD!!!!).
Christmas Eve Day was a day trip to Rum Point (opposite point of island). The entire Bentzie family has now relocated to the island so there was 8 of us falling all over the place in their tiny house, so come xmas eve day, it was time for some boat trippin'.
We packed some coolers full of beers, borrowd a mate's boat (is a fancy fishing boat so big enough for the bentzie mob and dupree) and headed across the North Sound to rum point.
On the way, we stopped off at StingRay city to play with the sting rays.
Damn, these things can bite! Apparently since 'The Incident' with the killer stingray, not many tourists opt to go so now they mob the people for food. We all came back with love bites as they know that you have squid for them so they suck on to your legs and arms... actually they are quite charming little buggers.
Then it was off to the reef for some snorkelling and finally Rum Point for Pina Coladas. I have some stunning photos of Rum Point area (feels like you've just landed on a beach from Pirates of Caribbean and that Johnny Depp is about to swagger down the beach), but unfortunately my camera got checked OFF my list a couple of days later so those photos are gonners.
Xmas eve was the BIG Christmas dinner and get together. 10 people, 10 bottles of champers, 5 courses of food. A good night.
Xmas day- the usual frenzy of opening xmas presents, eating too many chocolates and gorging on more champagne. Yummy. The most strenuous thing we did on xmas day was take a wander down the beach and laugh at all the drunnken tourists, before we headed back to Tamarind Bay for Pimms and a game of 30-seconds (by far the xmas pressie with the most kudos!!).
Boxing day: the usual shite. Different location. More turkey, more champers, more xmas crackers, more hangover. This time, I headed over to my bosses house in Prospect for their annual Boxing day party. Apparently it is one of the most sought-out parties to be invited to. The Browns are sort of legends on the island. Not sure how I cracked the nod?? Never mind, there was an open bar and free champers. all good.
So as you can see, the photos are no longer... they are now sitting with some dodgy Jamaican in the back of his shack. well, i hope they keep him warm at night. what comes around, goes around. more about that later.
the rest of the week was spent on the beach during the day- wakeboarding, snorkelling- the usual. and the evenings were spent tasting the fine array of caribbean rums that this island contains. thankfully i only had one rough morning where i had a very 'sore' 7km run back to one of the clubs to retrieve my vehicle!! the rest of the time, i was well-behaved!!
but then, the checklist starts to dwindle..
i had decided on a quiet evening. that's how all the best evening start don't they??
well, somewhere, things started to go pear shaped. we had started at a bar called hammerheads (a rather 'rough' place in a great location in the harbour, with really 'rough' rum). As the evening progressed, so did we and things started to get a little out of hand!! At some point in the evening (early hours of Saturday morning) we were walking home from a club and I had somehow got seperated from the crowd and there were just 2 of us trying to get to a friend's condo for a nightcap (it was 4 am and we had drank our bodyweight in booze, but the party must go on!!) and for some reason we found ourselves ina deserted field and thought the easiest way to get where we were going , was quite obviously, to to climb over a fence in the pitch darkness. I mean, c'mon. there was clearly no thought structure happening at all!
So over i go, and at the top of the fence my hand gets stuck on the barb wire and rips as I fall over the other side. Yummy.
But, it is amazing what a good anesthetic alcohol is. I was invincible. Unfortunately, the blood said otherwise. So we rushed my hand up the stairs and 2 of the guys bandaged it up pretty tight. I turned whiter than the saffers in london and was fed some coca cola and put to bed.
Unfortunately during the fracas, nobody noticed that my hand bag was left hanging on the fence.
And that was that.
Checklist OVER.
New Years Resolution: Drink No More Rum!
The next day I woke to the realisation that my bag was gone, my car was stranded in the middle of a sidewalk in GeorgeTown and my hand was throbbing!!
First stop was the police station to report the bag, then locksmith to break into my new car and change the ignition and create a whole new set of keys, and only then could I get to the hospital.
4 hours and 4 stitches (and a bucketful of cash later) i finally got home- 24 hours after leaving for that quiet drink...hmmmmm!
So this week has been a whole lot of admin-sorting: police station, banks, driving licensing dept etc etc. Love it.
New Years was a little quieter as I am now on some HECTIC antibiotics so things have toned down somewhat... Only somewhat...
New Years Resolution: Drink Less Rum!
The NY party was awesome tho- beach party at a place called Calico Jacks. I am going to hijack some photos from a friend and send them through...
My one-armed type-pecking is beginning to ache. so this the end of the All New Adventures of a CaribbeanChicken 2007.
Until the next one!
(New Years Resolution: Drink Only Good Rum!)
Yes, I was super excited!
10 days, in the brilliant caribbean sunshine, on white sands, swimming in turquiose seas with stingrays, drinking rum-cokes at every sunset... what could go wrong?? Idyllic, no??
Ideal, my ass.
Here's the low-down...
Day One;
car keys- check
house keys- check
wallet- check
dollars- check
credit cards- check
camera- check
clothing (on and off body)- check
liver still intact- check
Wow, i was off to a good start!
The first coupla days were spent gearing up for xmas- shop shop shop, decorate tree, wrap presents, make food (attempt to create salad extrodinaire) for 10 poeple, and then we cracked open the first bottle of champers and I truly feel things went downhill from this point on!!
But first, I received my FIRST xmas present!! I had bought myself a baby RAV which got delivered the first day of my hols! It's a gorgeous (beat up), blue (rusty) 2-door Rav (definitely an Island car) which i LOVE!! No more scooter incidents!!!!!!!!!
And, yes, i do see the irony in buying a Toyota as my first car (sorry DAD!!!!).
Christmas Eve Day was a day trip to Rum Point (opposite point of island). The entire Bentzie family has now relocated to the island so there was 8 of us falling all over the place in their tiny house, so come xmas eve day, it was time for some boat trippin'.
We packed some coolers full of beers, borrowd a mate's boat (is a fancy fishing boat so big enough for the bentzie mob and dupree) and headed across the North Sound to rum point.
On the way, we stopped off at StingRay city to play with the sting rays.
Damn, these things can bite! Apparently since 'The Incident' with the killer stingray, not many tourists opt to go so now they mob the people for food. We all came back with love bites as they know that you have squid for them so they suck on to your legs and arms... actually they are quite charming little buggers.
Then it was off to the reef for some snorkelling and finally Rum Point for Pina Coladas. I have some stunning photos of Rum Point area (feels like you've just landed on a beach from Pirates of Caribbean and that Johnny Depp is about to swagger down the beach), but unfortunately my camera got checked OFF my list a couple of days later so those photos are gonners.
Xmas eve was the BIG Christmas dinner and get together. 10 people, 10 bottles of champers, 5 courses of food. A good night.
Xmas day- the usual frenzy of opening xmas presents, eating too many chocolates and gorging on more champagne. Yummy. The most strenuous thing we did on xmas day was take a wander down the beach and laugh at all the drunnken tourists, before we headed back to Tamarind Bay for Pimms and a game of 30-seconds (by far the xmas pressie with the most kudos!!).
Boxing day: the usual shite. Different location. More turkey, more champers, more xmas crackers, more hangover. This time, I headed over to my bosses house in Prospect for their annual Boxing day party. Apparently it is one of the most sought-out parties to be invited to. The Browns are sort of legends on the island. Not sure how I cracked the nod?? Never mind, there was an open bar and free champers. all good.
So as you can see, the photos are no longer... they are now sitting with some dodgy Jamaican in the back of his shack. well, i hope they keep him warm at night. what comes around, goes around. more about that later.
the rest of the week was spent on the beach during the day- wakeboarding, snorkelling- the usual. and the evenings were spent tasting the fine array of caribbean rums that this island contains. thankfully i only had one rough morning where i had a very 'sore' 7km run back to one of the clubs to retrieve my vehicle!! the rest of the time, i was well-behaved!!
but then, the checklist starts to dwindle..
i had decided on a quiet evening. that's how all the best evening start don't they??
well, somewhere, things started to go pear shaped. we had started at a bar called hammerheads (a rather 'rough' place in a great location in the harbour, with really 'rough' rum). As the evening progressed, so did we and things started to get a little out of hand!! At some point in the evening (early hours of Saturday morning) we were walking home from a club and I had somehow got seperated from the crowd and there were just 2 of us trying to get to a friend's condo for a nightcap (it was 4 am and we had drank our bodyweight in booze, but the party must go on!!) and for some reason we found ourselves ina deserted field and thought the easiest way to get where we were going , was quite obviously, to to climb over a fence in the pitch darkness. I mean, c'mon. there was clearly no thought structure happening at all!
So over i go, and at the top of the fence my hand gets stuck on the barb wire and rips as I fall over the other side. Yummy.
But, it is amazing what a good anesthetic alcohol is. I was invincible. Unfortunately, the blood said otherwise. So we rushed my hand up the stairs and 2 of the guys bandaged it up pretty tight. I turned whiter than the saffers in london and was fed some coca cola and put to bed.
Unfortunately during the fracas, nobody noticed that my hand bag was left hanging on the fence.
And that was that.
Checklist OVER.
New Years Resolution: Drink No More Rum!
The next day I woke to the realisation that my bag was gone, my car was stranded in the middle of a sidewalk in GeorgeTown and my hand was throbbing!!
First stop was the police station to report the bag, then locksmith to break into my new car and change the ignition and create a whole new set of keys, and only then could I get to the hospital.
4 hours and 4 stitches (and a bucketful of cash later) i finally got home- 24 hours after leaving for that quiet drink...hmmmmm!
So this week has been a whole lot of admin-sorting: police station, banks, driving licensing dept etc etc. Love it.
New Years was a little quieter as I am now on some HECTIC antibiotics so things have toned down somewhat... Only somewhat...
New Years Resolution: Drink Less Rum!
The NY party was awesome tho- beach party at a place called Calico Jacks. I am going to hijack some photos from a friend and send them through...
My one-armed type-pecking is beginning to ache. so this the end of the All New Adventures of a CaribbeanChicken 2007.
Until the next one!
(New Years Resolution: Drink Only Good Rum!)
Newsletter #2 16.12.06
Aloha’s!!
It’s been another long, hard 4 weeks in paradise and definitely time to update you all on what I’ve been up to!
Winter has settled into the Cayman Islands with ferocious force- the temperatures have dropped to 26 degrees, the wind has picked up and every now and then the heavens open and the island is drenched for 30 minutes. The raindrops here are enormous and the rain comes without warning and then leaves just as suddenly and because the island is so flat, everything is completely flooded in those few minutes until the sunshine starts to do its work!
Ofcourse, as much as it’s a great phenomenon to watch from your balcony whilst sipping a mojito and contemplating what to do next, it’s NOT such a great phenomenon to experience whilst sitting on your scooter and trying to dodge puddles which generally hide monster-sized potholes ready to swallow my vespa and I whole!!
Yep, driving the scooter has created numerous challenges for me over the past 6 weeks- white pants and rain aside- the biggest challenge has been shopping! My first evening in my new flat saw me taking 3 trips back to back to the supermarket just to ensure that I had enough of the basics and food to last me 2 or 3 days and then it was time to do it all again!! But, where else in the world am I going to get the opportunity to scoot around on a vespa if its not going to be in the Caribbean, so when the rain pours down or my packet containing milk breaks and splatters all over the road in Georgetown, I just look up and smile at the gods and say- bring it on!! Can’t you do better than that- suckers!!
Yep, a whole new sense of humour has been obtained and the new laid-back caribbeanchicken is fast becoming the norm round here.
My new place is fantastic. I was sad to leave the idyllic beaches of 7 mile and move to the
south (and all us Jozi-ites know how dodgy the South can be), but my little spot already feels like home!
It’s been another long, hard 4 weeks in paradise and definitely time to update you all on what I’ve been up to!
Winter has settled into the Cayman Islands with ferocious force- the temperatures have dropped to 26 degrees, the wind has picked up and every now and then the heavens open and the island is drenched for 30 minutes. The raindrops here are enormous and the rain comes without warning and then leaves just as suddenly and because the island is so flat, everything is completely flooded in those few minutes until the sunshine starts to do its work!
Ofcourse, as much as it’s a great phenomenon to watch from your balcony whilst sipping a mojito and contemplating what to do next, it’s NOT such a great phenomenon to experience whilst sitting on your scooter and trying to dodge puddles which generally hide monster-sized potholes ready to swallow my vespa and I whole!!
Yep, driving the scooter has created numerous challenges for me over the past 6 weeks- white pants and rain aside- the biggest challenge has been shopping! My first evening in my new flat saw me taking 3 trips back to back to the supermarket just to ensure that I had enough of the basics and food to last me 2 or 3 days and then it was time to do it all again!! But, where else in the world am I going to get the opportunity to scoot around on a vespa if its not going to be in the Caribbean, so when the rain pours down or my packet containing milk breaks and splatters all over the road in Georgetown, I just look up and smile at the gods and say- bring it on!! Can’t you do better than that- suckers!!
Yep, a whole new sense of humour has been obtained and the new laid-back caribbeanchicken is fast becoming the norm round here.
My new place is fantastic. I was sad to leave the idyllic beaches of 7 mile and move to the
south (and all us Jozi-ites know how dodgy the South can be), but my little spot already feels like home!Unfortunately, it has come with one crezzy chicago-oan... more stories on him later...
Kite surfing is coming along pretty good. There are four of us girls that are learning and 2 weeks ago we all chipped in and bought one set of all the equipment for us to share (its not a cheap sport…hmmm) and now that the wind has picked up, we’re having a pretty good time being dragged all over the beach!
I have done quite a bit of snorkeling on the weekend and this week I have started my PADI open water course and I go on my first few dives tomorrow- YAY!
I also learnt to wakeboard last weekend and ofcourse seeing as I am such an ‘expert’ snow boarder I was quite blasé about the whole thing which saw me take a huge faceplant and I managed to pull a muscle in my back But I did spend quite a bit of time carving up the sea so that was fun!
At the end of November, “Dupree” finally moved out of Steph and Lee’s house as I managed to secure quite a nice ‘digs’ on the other side of GeorgeTown in an area called Southsound- cheaper but still a really beautiful area to live. There’s a 10km stretch of road that travels all the way up this really rugged coastline which is absolutely stunning to run and cycle on!
A few weekends ago, I attended a Ball- called Phantom of the Opera at St Pedros Castle. It was a fundraiser thing and low and behold, the following week’s newspaper had a huge photo of me in the socialite pages saying- Sarah Hooper at the Phantom of the Opera ball. So, I feel like I’ve made it now.
Next week, I lose the scooter as Lee’s brother is arriving from London so I have managed to get my hands on a really cute Rav 4 2-door. I collect her next Friday- can’t wait! It’s been around a few blocks but I am just so excited to get a roof over my head finally! And its blue. So that sealed the deal J.
I hope you are well and getting ready for a really festive Christmas and New Years! I can’t believe I will be on my way home again in 4 weeks for D&H’s wedding- it feels like I only arrived on island yesterday! Looking forward to catching up with everyone in January!
Kite surfing is coming along pretty good. There are four of us girls that are learning and 2 weeks ago we all chipped in and bought one set of all the equipment for us to share (its not a cheap sport…hmmm) and now that the wind has picked up, we’re having a pretty good time being dragged all over the beach!
I have done quite a bit of snorkeling on the weekend and this week I have started my PADI open water course and I go on my first few dives tomorrow- YAY!
I also learnt to wakeboard last weekend and ofcourse seeing as I am such an ‘expert’ snow boarder I was quite blasé about the whole thing which saw me take a huge faceplant and I managed to pull a muscle in my back But I did spend quite a bit of time carving up the sea so that was fun!At the end of November, “Dupree” finally moved out of Steph and Lee’s house as I managed to secure quite a nice ‘digs’ on the other side of GeorgeTown in an area called Southsound- cheaper but still a really beautiful area to live. There’s a 10km stretch of road that travels all the way up this really rugged coastline which is absolutely stunning to run and cycle on!
A few weekends ago, I attended a Ball- called Phantom of the Opera at St Pedros Castle. It was a fundraiser thing and low and behold, the following week’s newspaper had a huge photo of me in the socialite pages saying- Sarah Hooper at the Phantom of the Opera ball. So, I feel like I’ve made it now.
Next week, I lose the scooter as Lee’s brother is arriving from London so I have managed to get my hands on a really cute Rav 4 2-door. I collect her next Friday- can’t wait! It’s been around a few blocks but I am just so excited to get a roof over my head finally! And its blue. So that sealed the deal J.
I hope you are well and getting ready for a really festive Christmas and New Years! I can’t believe I will be on my way home again in 4 weeks for D&H’s wedding- it feels like I only arrived on island yesterday! Looking forward to catching up with everyone in January!
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